Can you tell the difference between the two? Both words start with a “c”, are often mistaken for one another yet are so entirely different in their meaning. Or they should be. I fear, far too often, that I am undeniably terrified of being complacent. So much in fact, that I am rarely content. Nothing seems to be good enough, sufficient, satisfactory these days…. I am my worst critic, far too hard on myself. I forget to enjoy in the moment, small victories go unnoticed, my mind already 10 steps ahead, focusing on what’s next. I see complacency far too often; from old boyfriends settling for fear of being alone, friends, simply accepting their “fate” rather than fighting to make a change, however small and insignificant. Purely out of ease and comfort. It makes sense, who doesn’t like to be comfortable?
Complacency. Stagnation. Panic. Despite the stresses that come along with change, I can’t imagine anything different. I know myself, I tend to get bored quickly- enjoying in quick turnovers, what’s on the horizon and becoming giddy at the mere thought of what’s next. And while I will probably always be this way, I am looking to find ways to be content. Learning to be in the moment and dare I say, learning to enjoy it? A notepad sits atop my nightstand within arms reach of my bed…here, I plan to write every night before bed and in the morning when I wake before the sun. Here, I plan to take stock of my life and the small moments that bring a smile to my face, a bought of excitement that I dare not show. I will write them down and remind myself, if nothing more than to be content in the moment.
Photos by Jennifer Coffey Photography
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