Lately, I feel much like this winding staircase, not knowing which way is up..or down and always questioning my decisions. Slightly unsure of myself. As if my own voice doesn’t hold enough weight to approve or disapprove of my actions. I thought it would be liberating to not have anyone else to please, other than myself and so it seems, I’m turning out to be quite the difficult customer. Having the ability to make your own decisions, determine your own fate, it’s quite liberating, even exhilarating at times. Lately, however I’ve been finding it incredibly daunting. What happens when all your life, you’ve been told what to do? How to act? Suddenly, the control has been passed down and I am now in charge of my own happiness. Who’s to blame if I fail? Yes, yes I know. Rhetorical question.
I want to do so. much. I even wrote ten pages of aspirations I hope to achieve in 2017. Ten. It’s comical even to little, ambitious me. Much like this layered look, I feel weighed down with thought. And with all of those thoughts and ideas swirling in my head, I find myself paralyzed with indecision. And so, I retreat and hibernate in my new-ish home, hoping to find clarity cozied up on my sofa with Palmer. Hoping a new year and a new season will bring a fresh outlook.
Photos by Jennifer Coffey Photography
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